Why do I look?

I'm nosy...too nosy at times.  I read The Bump a few times a day to look at the posts that might apply to me, respond to a few if someone has a question on something I've been through.  It's a pretty large community so you get questions that are all over the spectrum and you get all kinds of different situations.  I keep trying to remember, it's a large community...

Every once in a while, there is a post with some type of title I know I shouldn't open..."Baby's gone", "Saying goodbye", "Our loss".  I know I shouldn't open the post.  While my heart breaks for the women who have to experience this at any stage, for my sanity, I shouldn't read them.  But for some reason, I usually always open them.  Today was no different.  A woman posted yesterday that she couldn't find the heart beat with her at home doppler.  She posted again that she had an appointment today for peace of mind.  This morning she posted that she had lost her baby last week (a missed miscarriage).  She would have been 19 weeks.

You get so excited to finally graduate from 1st tri and then something like this happens and kicks you in the gut with a reality check.  Something can always go wrong.  Thankfully, the statistic of you have a 1% chance of miscarrying once you make it through the first trimester means you have really good odds of being ok.  But someone has to make up that 1%. 

I wish I didn't have such an anxious personality.  I wish I didn't worry all of the time.  I know that it's all in God's hands and what's meant to be will be.  ...but I still worry.  Thankfully, Aaron is good at looking at the positive when I have these negative moments.  He "just knows that everything is going to be ok."  And that makes me feel better.