Adjustment from One to Two

I was really worried how Zoe would adjust to having a little brother.  She has been the center of our world for 2 years and her world was about to be turned upside down.  She's a super helpful toddler.  She loves to help clean up and get things for us, so I was hopeful that as long as I gave her "tasks", she'd be ok.

The afternoon that Beckett was born, my mother in law brought Zoe to the hospital.  She was a little unsure of what was going on and the look on her face definitely made me nervous.  But looking back, I think she was just overwhelmed and really wasn't sure what to think with everyone all in the same room, talking to her, and coming at her.  Because five minutes later, she was climbing on my bed and begging to hold Baby Brother.

Not so sure...

"I wanna hold him!"

The first few days, she went back and forth calling him Baby Ben and Beckett, but I think she's got it down now :)

She LOVES giving him kisses.  I think she'd kiss him all night when she got home from day care if we let her :)  She loves tickling his feet and announcing to us when he's awake or crying.  So far, she doesn't really seem phased at all or jealous of this new little addition.  Life has pretty much gone on as normal.  I'm kind of holding my breath and just waiting for the other shoe to drop.  But maybe this will go better than I ever thought…

"I wanna have a sleep over!"

Aaron has been amazing at taking over all duties with her when I have to feed Beckett (which feels like all the time even though it's only every 3 hours).  Zoe has tested our patience here and there…playing with the bouncy seat when we repeatedly told her no, etc.  But they are very minor incidences and nothing to worry about.  Typical toddler stuff that would have happened even if Beckett wasn't here.  

Riding in Beckett's "boat."

I think the adjustment has just been hardest on me and the mommy guilt I feel.  I love them both so much and it's crazy how your heart can explode like this a second time.  But I don't want Zoe to feel replaced in any way.  I want to make sure she knows how much mommy still loves her.  I just feel so consumed with Beckett right now, but I know that it's just the newborn stage and eventually it won't seem like I'm constantly feeding him.  And I try my best to read to her while I'm nursing, or play tea parties with her in between feedings.  Thankfully, her bedtime also falls in between feedings so I can help with that some nights too.  Zoe honestly doesn't seem to have any resentment.  It's all in my head.  But it hasn't stopped me from sobbing to Aaron.  

I just want them both to know how much I love them.

It's only been a few weeks though, so we'll see how my outlook on this changes as we get into more of a routine and we are all together more.  Zoe is still in day care full time (I don't feel coordinated enough just yet to take care of both of them all day).  But we'll get there.  I'm just so happy that Zoe loves her baby brother so far.  It's made me feel so much better.