Going Back to Work

We now have a whole new "normal" to figure out now that I'm back to work.  I felt like I was JUST getting the hang of being home all day.  I was finally in a really happy place.  Zoe was finally in a happy place (thank you end of colic!).  We had a good schedule going and the weather was finally turning warmer.

Enter the end of my six month leave.  Suddenly, I now have to get myself ready in the morning plus feed a tiny human.  How it takes me so long to get out the door, I have no idea.  I only have to give her a bottle, and Aaron takes care of the rest.  But some days her sheets are gross and I have to change them, or she pooped through her PJs and I have to soak them, or she is just so darn stinkin' cute I have no desire to leave her (which is pretty much every day) so I dawdle a little longer.

Her naps at day care are hit or miss.  One day she might nap 4 MINUTES (I still find it hilarious that they record this...at least I know they are serious about their license :) ) and then maybe another half hour nap.  But other days she'll nap for an hour and half plus a forty-five minute nap. 

And I can't stop worrying about her all day.  I stare at the clock just waiting for 4:45 to hit so I can shut down and get to my car as fast as my heals will take me and then curse at the traffic for taking me 45 minutes to get to my little goose.  She's the highlight of my day and I hate that during the week, I only get a good 1.5-2 hours at most with her before it's bedtime.  And lately, she naps on the way home and in her car seat until 6:30 which cuts down our time together even more.

Then enter all of my other tasks around the house that I cannot seem to fit in.  Like cleaning.  I went TWO whole weeks without cleaning my house.  So not like me.  But I just didn't have time (I scrubbed yesterday for the record).  And laundry, and grocery shopping, and miscellaneous errands, and doing yard work, and cooking a meal that's not a sandwich or salad. 

My mom promised that it's just this stage of life.  She had the same hurdles to get over when we were little.  And she said I just have to get in the mindset that my house may not be clean, uncluttered yes, clean no.  And other things may need to fall through the cracks.  But I won't be able to get back those baby giggles or tub splashes that I missed because I was so obsessed with the to-do list I never seem to be able to finish.

I know we'll figure this all out eventually.  And as much as I miss her during the day, I know Zoe loves school and she's meeting new friends and learning to adapt to new situations.  And I get a little me time with adult conversation.  

And I rarely have to change a poopy diaper (thank you Zoe for always taking care of business during the day ;) ).  At least there is a small upside!

Getting to spend time together OUTSIDE after work is the
highlight of my day.  LOVE those thigh rolls :)