Christmas 2012

I can't believe the holidays have already come and gone.  This is my favorite time of year, and I'm so sad it's already over.  Now starts the dreary months of winter without much to look forward to.  And I have made a promise to myself to make sure to get out of the house with Zoe to keep the winter blues away.  But...that is for another post.

We celebrated Christmas as a family quite a bit before Christmas.  Zoe and I made the drive to Grand Rapids the Wednesday before Christmas.  Since I have so much time off, I figured we should take advantage of being able to make the trip at random times during the week.  And I knew we'd never have enough in one car for all of the presents, plus Zoe and Wally.  Aaron stayed behind and painted our entry way after work and he drove over on Friday afternoon.

Thursday, I was able to visit with high school friends and see all of their kids.  It's crazy how things have changed.

Friday, my mother-in-law stopped over for a few hours to see Zoe.  It was so nice having afternoon company.  Zoe was a little fussy, but I don't think Nana cared :)

Saturday, began the Christmas festivities.  We celebrated Christmas with my dad's extended family.  Sunday, we celebrated with my mom's side.  Monday evening was with my immediate family, and Tuesday was with Aaron's.

We had lots of family time even after Christmas celebrating was over.  It was so nice to be home and have extra help.  It was hard leaving everyone on Sunday, especially since there aren't any future visits planned.  I know something will pop up though with an excuse :)

And now for the photos :)

Zoe was pretty into her gifts :)

Daddy reading to Zoe the night before
we left for GR.  I think he was
more interested in the book
than she was :)

Andrew and Nick got a new dog for Christmas (Nugget).
The other dogs were really interested.

Our yearly picture in front of the tree.

Our little family of 3.

Zoe helping mommy play Sequence. Beeba was nice
enough to play even though she hated it
since she couldn't win.  She would have much
rather play Candy Crush...

Modeling mommy's hair bow creation.

Zoe Louise | Two Months

Such a happy baby!!

Little Girl, how am I already writing this post (a few days late)?  Some days, time seems to just drag by, but then I think that you are already 2 months old, and over 9 weeks.  That is just crazy to me.  I know I'll be saying that probably on every post.

Stats:  Baby girl is 22 3/4 inches and 11 lbs 6 oz.  Still in the 50th percentile.  

Likes:  Still love being swaddled.  You are getting better and better at napping in your pack and play in the bedroom.  You still love eating.  And now that mommy has a different routine down for breastfeeding and formula feeding, this is going much better for us.  White noise CD.  Bath time.  Being bounced and moved from side to side (still a mover).  Mornings are your happiest time of day.  I think the other day, I caught you trying to giggle.  Cutest.thing.ever.

Beeba and Grandpa got you this rocker for Christmas.  You were
very interested!  It's a pretty plush ride.  I know you'll
love it soon enough!

Dislikes:  Being burped during/after your bottle.  Basically, you act like the world is ending.  Being done with your bottle even though we are giving you 4 oz now at each feeding.  Based on how much you spit up, I know you can't be hungry.  Thankfully, you calm down after 5 minutes or so.  But those are excruciating for mommy.  I hate hearing you so upset.  Being overtired.  Early evening until bed time can still be rough but you are definitely getting better.

Biggest Achievement This Month:  You are starting to sleep in until 5 or 6 am.  New Year's Day you even made it to 6:45 am.  Mommy is loving this!  Yay!  One day, you even made it to 7:45 am.  That was awesome!  However, it was the morning after you had what we think was the flu bug so I think it had more to do with that.

Biggest Challenge of the Month:  Still nursing.  We have our routine down now though.  And mommy has come to terms with giving you formula for a few feedings.  Minus you thinking burping is the end of the world, things are working out much better for us.  As everyone has said, I can only do so much.  And you will be ok even if you aren't exclusively breast fed until 6 months.

Secret Tricks:  You love to bounce and rock side to side simultaneously when you are overtired or cranky.  That always seems to work when you are done eating too to give you a minute to realize you actually are full.  Tickling your chin seems to do the trick to get you to smile for us :)  Which we could see a million times and still not get tired of it.

Sleep:  You also are sleeping from about 11 or 11:30pm to anywhere from 4ish am to 6 am.  We give you the same amount of bottle every night, so I know that doesn't have anything to do with the length of your sleep.  We'll see if you keep stretching the time.  Mommy is loving her sleep :)  Depending on when you wake up, you go back to bed for 3-4 hours.  Then you eat every 2.5-4 hours throughout the day.  You usually are awake for about an hour after each feeding before you get cranky and need to sleep again.

Recently one night, you would not go to sleep for daddy.  You would fall asleep and wake up 15 minutes later.  I wonder if something was bothering your tummy.  This continued until about 1 am when I got up with you since daddy had to work.  I rocked you for 30 minutes while you slept and moved you to the pack and play.  Then...drum roll...you slept until almost 8am!  So you had your bottle at 10:30pm and then didn't need to eat again until that 8 am feeding.  So I know you can do it little girl.  Let's see if you keep that long stretch up!  Although, you do need to go to bed earlier without all of those wake ups.  Baby steps :)

Temperament/Personality:  While you definitely still have your fussy times, you have gotten so much better this month.  You are definitely happy more of the time which makes mommy so happy.  I love seeing you more content, smiling more often, and even starting to try to laugh and coo.  I know it will only get better from here on out.

Uncle Andrew calls you a Diva...we'll see how you actually turn out :)

Eating:  You are waking to eat around 4-6ish am, and then 2.5-4 hours throughout the day.  Repeat the cycle.  Daddy still feeds you your last bottle between 10:30-11:30pm.  I'm currently nursing during the early morning feeding, and the next feeding.  I then pump 3 times before bed.  So far, this is working great for us.  I haven't touched the freezer stash yet, and you get 2 formula bottles a day.  I'm trying to extend the breast milk as long as possible which is why I'm throwing in a few formula feedings a day.  And, I want to make sure your tummy can tolerate it.  So far, you are doing great.

Randoms: Your 3 month outfits are just fitting you now.  Very soon, I think you'll be out of those as well.  Sad.  You got a lot of 6 month clothes for Christmas and I scoured the clearance items at Target, so you should be all set once you get to that size.  No rush though.  

Your hair seems to be getting a slight red tint to it.  Yay!  I don't know if it will last though.  

You are still fitting into size 1 diapers.  They seem to fit perfectly now, so I may need to exchange our jumbo box at Target for size 2.  Seriously girl, you are growing up way too fast!!

Milestones: You are awesome at holding your head up.  You still bobble sometimes, but you are definitely getting stronger.

Daddy and Beeba apparently saw you roll from your tummy to your back one day.  I missed it, but then you performed again at your two month checkup.  So yes, they really did see it!  Dr. Butry said you are doing awesome.  You are holding your chest and your head up during tummy time, you can roll from stomach to back, and you are starting to scoot a little when you are doing tummy time.  All one month ahead of schedule per Dr. Butry :)  Here I was worried we were behind since we haven't done much because we were so busy from the holidays.

You are definitely more interested in what is going on around you.  You are content to sit on my lap facing out for quite a while and just look at everything around you.

You have also discovered your hands.  And you suck on them constantly.

Outings: You've definitely been out and about a lot lately with the holidays.  We also visited my work friends a few weeks ago.  I'm trying to limit things for a little while now since you seem to be stuffy again.  Being born around winter is just no fun little miss!  I can't wait for warmer weather when we can just go outside in the backyard or go for a walk.  But at the same time, I don't want to even think about you being that old.

Favorite Baby Gear:  Everything seems to hold your attention for different lengths of time.  Some days, you love the swing Kate let us borrow.  Some days you love your bouncy more.  I really need to remember to bring out your play mat more often now that you are more interested in things around you.

Minus all of the parts to wash, mommy LOVES the Dr. Brown's bottles.  They really eliminate a lot of the air.  And the swaddle sleep sack still.  I don't even want to know how sleep is going to go when we have to stop using these.  Mommy needs to go get bigger sizes since you are pretty much busting out of the ones we have.

Look at the chub on those thighs.  Love :)

And now, comparison shots.  I knew you had grown, but girlie, you are way bigger!!  The outfit you wore in your one month photo barely fits you now.

Love you my pretty, little girl!

2012 | A Year in Review

I've seen a few of these posts this week and thought it was a neat idea.  So here goes...

January  We rang in the new year with friends at a club in Ferndale (my how this New Year's was SO different :) ).

February  I turned 29 and had a "Super Lauta" super bowl party, and most importantly, we found out we were expecting!!

March  We had crazy warm weather here in Michigan.  And we got to see our Little Miss on the ultra sound.  I can't even describe the relief I felt when we found out it was a healthy pregnancy and Zoe was right where she was supposed to be.

April  We finally shared the news with family and friends.

May  Aaron, my mom, and I ran/walked the River Bank Run.  I made my way to Cali to visit my BFF.  We had so much fun!

June  Aaron and I went on vacation which turned into a stay-cation.  We made the best of it :)

July  I got a new car.  And more importantly, my brother got married!  My BFF surprised me and came to the wedding :)  Best surprise ever!

August  My cousin got married and we had our first shower.

September  Our friend's got married and we had our second shower.

October  We finished the nursery, and right at the end of October, we finally got to meet our little girl.  Zoe Louise made her debut on October 28.  She is by far the best part of 2012 :)

November  Zoe had lots of visitors and we made our way back to Grand Rapids for her first Thanksgiving.

I think I overdid the red eye removal on this one :(

December  Zoe celebrated her frist Christmas!!

2012 was amazing.  I really don't know how 2013 will be able to top it :)  I can't wait to see what's in store.

You Know You're a Mom When...

You know your a mom when...

1. You actually have a day where you are leaving the house, your child spits up all over your shirt and your jeans, and rather than taking the time to change, you say screw it and just leave with wet clothes.  Zoe does it so why can't I?
2. You get pooped on...all over your stomach while burping your child (yellow, chunky, diarrhea like poop) and you really aren't all that grossed out.
3. You now have a bucket and tub of oxi clean sitting in your bathroom indefinitely to help salvage your child's clothing after diaper blowouts...sometimes multiple per day.
4. You find yourself rinsing poop from clothes in the toilet (I have a huge aversion to toilet water...even if it's clean...it kind of makes me gag).
5. You hear your baby crying and you start bouncing and swaying from side to side.  Then you realize you aren't the one holding her.
6. You don't always sleep when your baby sleeps at night because she is SO noisy and you are worried she's going to choke, or stop breathing, or something equally horrible.
7. You start waking up at 4 am like clockwork to feed your child even if she doesn't wake up.
8. Your living room is now filled with multiple types of nipple cream, My Brest Friend, a pump, an itzbeen timer as a reminder when the last feeding was, and other such paraphernalia.
9. You spend an hour trying to get her to smile.  And when she finally gives one teeny smile, it's like you won the lottery.
10. You spend just 10 more minutes snuggling your milk induced coma baby at 4 am because she looks so peaceful and smells so yummy. 

Being a mom is such hard work.  But so completely worth it.  I love my little girl to pieces and can't believe how fast she's growing up :(

Breast Feeding Part 3...Nearing the End

This is a hard post to write.  And when I wrote the previous post about breast feeding, I had hoped it wouldn't end like this.  

I saw the specialist on Wednesday and they really didn't have any answers.  They still think I have a problem with yeast so Zoe and I are being treated.  But there were no answers why the other issue isn't healing.  

After too many tears to count and several mental breakdowns, I just can't do it anymore.  I'm not enjoying my time off.  I dread whenever the clock gets close to her feeding time.  And it's too hard for me to coordinate pumping and feeding her all day when I'm home by myself.  I know that Zoe can feel my anxiety and tell I'm upset. 

For now, I plan to nurse her during the middle of the night feed.  I may or may not continue to nurse her at her 8 am feed as well.  And I'll pump every 4 or 5 hours during the day and slowly stretch it to decrease my milk supply.  We have enough milk stored that we should be able to make it to 2 or 3 months before she'll be exclusively on formula.  Right now, I'll do every other bottle with formula and the next with breast milk.

Deep down, I know that I did the best I could.  I really, really tried.  And no matter what, she does have the benefit of some breast milk even if it's not the full six months like I had hoped.  

And I have the best support system.  I have really struggled with feeling like a failure throughout all of this.  I think that's one of the reasons why I have been so afraid to stop.  But everyone has had such kind words, helpful tips, and reminded me that I did everything I could and I need to be happy too.  Zoe will still be smart, she'll still be healthy, and she'll be happy (and so will her mommy).

Now the only challenge is to get her to be a little less fussy when taking the bottle.  She seems to think she can drink more than 3.5-4 oz and I know that at her age, her tummy just isn't that big.  And she fights every time we stop and try to burp her (give me more food mommy!).  I'm hoping that as we keep giving her bottles, she'll start to realize and remember that there will be more.

They Say It Takes a Village

I love being a mom.  Zoe is the most amazing little human being, and I can't believe that she's ours.  I'll do just about anything to see her little smiles and those cute stretches she does when she's first up for the day.  So incredibly precious.

But this mom gig?  It's hard work.  Quite possibly the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  I know we are incredibly blessed, but it doesn't mean I can't have my bad days.  Because I'm human, and I do.  And it doesn't help that it's slowly moving into winter which means we are stuck inside unless I can come up with a random errand to run.

Thankfully, I have the most amazing people surrounding me.  Aaron has been incredible.  He knows I'm home all day by myself and need a break sometimes at night even though he then doesn't have a chance to relax after work.  He's listened to me cry about everything more times than I can count.  My mom, my best best friend, her older sister, and everyone else that calls, e-mails, and texts to check up on me.  I definitely couldn't do this without the love and support of so many friends and family.

Earlier last week, my best friend sent me the perfect article about being a mom and the good and bad days which was so perfect.  And Saturday, we got out of the house and went to visit with friends.  Many of them are moms, so naturally, the women were chatting about how things were going, etc. and I was honest about how it's tough sometimes.  As one girl was leaving, she gave me a big hug and said, "You're doing great."  And I really needed that then.  I know that Zoe loves me and I'm doing the best I can.  But it's nice to hear it from someone else too.

So thank you to my village.  While my "village" may not all be in my immediate area (reaching all the way to Cali), I'm lucky enough to have the best people in my life.  I love you guys!  Now if only, we could work on getting everyone living near each other again ;)

Breast Feeding Part 2

I wish I could say it's all butterflies and unicorns now.  I would have thought that at SEVEN weeks postpartum, I should be able to say that.  If we only talked about one side, those are some pretty gorgeous butterflies.  But unfortunately, there are two boobs and the other side is a two headed dragon and just won't.get.better.  Ugh.

Zoe now nurses on the left like a champ.  No shield required.  I can barely even feel that she's doing anything (don't worry, I listen for the swallows so I know she really is doing something).  I can reach for things that I need, I can blow my nose (yes, colds have been going around our household), etc.

Then enters the right side.  I dread every time I have to switch to that side.  It makes me completely dread when the clock gets close to the next time to eat.  It's completely toe curling, bring water to my eyes pain.  I'm popping ibuprofen like it's my job.  It's not getting better and it's been SEVEN weeks.

I had my six week postpartum checkup on Monday and had her look at it then.  White spots had shown up which she concluded were yeast.  So now I'm treating a yeast infection (which started the weekend before).  She didn't say much about the other trauma, but to be fair, I didn't ask and I don't think it was noticeable while I was there.

After yet more sobbing fits yesterday to the OB nurse, my lactation consultant, my mom, and Aaron (yes, there were a lot of tears), I had another appointment today (I sobbed in the exam room too).  The doctor still thinks it's yeast even though the white spots are gone.  Our new plan is to take the yeast medicine for the next 14 days (she upped the dose).  She also prescribed a new cream to use.  If this isn't starting to help things heal by mid next week, I have an antibiotic I can use in case it's a bacterial infection.

So far, the cream has been much better than the other one I was using.  I'm also going to pump a bit more this weekend while Aaron is home and can help give a bottle.  This should help provide a little relief while things (hopefully) heal.

Let's hope this does the trick.  Fingers crossed.  Who knew this would be probably the hardest part about having a baby for me?  Let's hope that there is a "Part 3" to this saga very soon and it's ALL butterflies and unicorns...

Christmas Decorating

Those that have read this blog from the beginning, know that last year around this time was horrible.  Definitely one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through.  It's so crazy to think were we were last year at this time and that emergency surgery was in the near future on Christmas Eve.  This is definitely my most favorite time of year, and it was really hard for me to enjoy everything last year with all that was happening.

It is just amazing to me to think where we are now just one year later.  I'm sitting here typing a post while our 5 week old is snoring away in her bouncy seat.  We really are so blessed and lucky this holiday season.

In my family, we have always put up the Christmas decorations Thanksgiving weekend.  I can't remember exactly when this tradition started, but it works perfect now because I'm home to be able to help my mom.  And we rock out to some great Christmas favorites including John Denver, Bing Crosby, Perry Como, the Muppet's, and so on.

Since we are out of town Thanksgiving weekend, I always tell Aaron we MUST get our tree and decorate the weekend after.  We need to be able to enjoy the tree since we travel back to GR for Christmas :)  This year, it was a really warm day so Miss Zoe joined us on our tree buying adventure.  I'm so thankful it was nice considering we typically walk down the street to a local church and carry the tree home.  Since we have a 5 week old, this wouldn't have been possible in the cold.  However, it was a gorgeous day.

We then started putting up all the other decorations while Little Miss took her afternoon nap.  Thankfully, my mom supplied us with some of our favorite Christmas tunes last year :)  It took a little longer (two days) to set up what little decorations we have - someone was hungry every 3 hours :) - but it was perfect.  Now our house smells like a Christmas tree and Zoe LOVES the Christmas lights.  I have to turn them off at night to get her to relax and go to sleep :)

I can't wait to spend this holiday season with Zoe, even if she has no idea what is going on this year :)