Beckett James | Birth Story

Mr. Beckett's arrival was not at all what I expected…other than he was early which I predicted all along.  So here is this little guy's story.

I had been having braxton hicks contractions for months.  The cramping was getting worse every day but nothing consistent or time able.  Monday night Aaron had talked to his mom to confirm her arrival on Wednesday.  I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for Tuesday afternoon.  At one point Monday night, I was getting more crampy and noticed they were coming at frequent intervals, but they weren't intense and they were pretty far apart, then they went away.  Two weeks before, I was 3 cm dilated.  The week before, there was no change.  I went to bed Monday night with no knowledge of what was to come…

I woke up around 12:45 am with actual contractions.  I turned on my app and started to time them.  They were averaging 50 seconds to just over a minute in length.  They were coming about 6 minutes apart at that point.  I wasn't supposed to call the doctor until they were 5 minutes apart, lasting one minute each, for one hour.  At 1:30 am, I decided to get up and go downstairs.  To pass the time, I unloaded the dishwasher…so glad I wasted my time there :)

Shortly thereafter, I went upstairs to tell Aaron I thought this was it and to call his mom.  I got the rest of my things around, called the doctor, and showered.  The time between contractions went quickly from 6 minutes, to 4 minutes, to 2-3 minutes apart.  Looking back, this should have been a sign to stop what I was doing and go to the hospital rather than unloading the dishwasher, showering, etc.  

We called the people we had asked as our Zoe backups.  Thankfully, our neighbor answered right away and came over until Aaron's mom arrived around 5:30 am.  We left for the hospital just before 3 am.  I remember thinking the contractions were coming REALLY close together and things were feeling a little odd down there.  I had an epidural with Zoe though, so besides the early contractions, I really didn't know what it would feel like later in labor.

As we got to the check in desk, I realized my wallet was at home.  Thankfully, that wasn't an issue.  They quickly checked me in, Aaron ran down to move the car, and a nurse came in to ask questions and help me get into my gown.  I think then the contractions were 2 minutes apart.  A nurse was nice enough to push my pelvis together during each one.  I was in HORRIBLE pain at this point and not really getting any relief.  The nurse checked my dilation and didn't say a word.  I repeatedly said I wanted an epidural ASAP.  

When she came back, and I asked how far I was and she said, "Well, I didn't want to tell you.  But you are at 10."  That's when I really lost it.  Sobbing, screaming, swearing.  I kept saying that I just wanted to go home…too late for that!  I was so upset because I knew at this point I couldn't get any pain medicine.  And I don't do well with pain.  I had no idea how much longer I had.  I just knew that I was in so much pain.

They quickly wheeled me from the trauma intake to the birthing rooms.  I screamed the whole way down the hall.  My water ruptured and splattered all down the hallway according to Aaron.  We got into the room just as my doctor was rushing in.  They forced me to move from the gurney to the other bed which I did not want to do.  It hurt so horribly.  I just wanted them to pick me up but eventually I crawled over.  

The doctor told me to push with the next contraction and Mr. Beckett James made his debut with that one contraction in about two pushes.  The RELIEF from the pain was amazing.  And hearing those sweet cries made it all worth it.  I give major credit to women who go without drugs purposely.  It's no joke.  

All in all, we got in the car at about 2:50 am.  Got to the hospital around 3 am.  And he was born at 3:34 am.  We JUST made it.  I joked with the doctor that I plan to camp out at the hospital the week before my due date if we have another baby.  She laughed and said that we can talk about induction for sure once I get close to the end to avoid a home birth :)

The poor little guy went nameless for quite a while, but we finally were able to agree.

Beckett James 
November 11, 2014
Born 3:34 am
7 lb and 9 oz
19.5 inches long

Mr. Beckett we love you so, so much already.  Your little bird cries are just adorable.  You tolerate CONSTANT kisses from your big sister and are just the best addition to this crazy family.  We can't wait to watch you grow and your personality to shine.  

Happy Birthday My Sweet Baby Girl

Dear Zoe,

I can't believe we've already made it to your one year birthday.  I still remember the day before you were born so clearly.  Daddy made me take a few "maternity" pictures even though I was not feeling up to it at all.  Later that night, we went out with friends for dinner and to watch part of the Tigers game.  Early the next morning, I started waking up every hour realizing that this might actually be it.  

Less than 12 hours later, you made your appearance into this world.  Mommy and daddy got to meet their little girl.  While I obviously just wanted a happy, healthy baby, mommy was so so happy to hear them say "It's a girl!"  Throughout the entire time you were growing strong inside mommy, I pictured pink, pink, and more pink.  Those little girl outfits are just so darn cute (and they get my in trouble every time I shop - gone are the days of buying for myself).

Things may have started out a little rocky, but we finally hit our stride.  And sweety, you light up my life.  You are my heart and I love you so so much.  Watching you grow and learn is so much fun.  Sometimes I think people who don't have kids look at us and see all of the things we are missing out on by being constrained to schedules and bedtimes and trying to get a babysitter.  But I don't see that at all.  I see a little person who was so tiny and fragile 12 months ago and is now a babbling, giggly, crazy little girl.  Those bedtimes that we are stuck with mean bathtimes that create tidal waves of water outside of the tub and the loudest giggles from both you and mommy.  Has my life changed?  Obviously.  Did I have to say goodbye to parts of the old me?  Yes.  But I would not trade anything at all for what I have now.  Some days are hard.  Sometimes we both get frusterated.  But your smile, the way you say "momma" with your arms outstretched, and your giggles erase every piece of unrest.

This has truly been the most amazing year of my life.  I can't wait to see what year two has in store.  But let's try to slow down a little :)

Love you baby girl,
Momma

Postpartum

3 Weeks Postpartum

How far along were you when you had your baby? 39 weeks and 5 days

How long was labor? About 11 hours from the first contraction I noticed to when she was born (3:30 am - 2:40 pm).  Painful contractions lasted about 8 hours...well, they would have been painful if not for the epidural :)  Pushing took about an hour and a half.

Total weight gain: Probably about 37 pounds.  I think I was at 35 at my last doctor's appointment, and I'm pretty sure I gained more after that.  This number was really hard for me to see.  We did a last minute photo shoot to document my belly the day before Zoe was born, and it's crazy to look at those pictures.  I just had a lot of anxiety about the weight coming off.  Don't get me wrong, this little peanut was worth EVERYTHING, but it was still hard to see that number.

Total weight loss so far: While the weight gain was shocking, the weight loss has been awesome.  I attribute a lot of it to breastfeeding.  Also, there were a few days when we were on our own at first when I had a hard time coordinating taking care of Zoe, Wally, and finding time to eat so I didn't eat a whole lot those few days.  I know, it's not good for me at all, and I promise I've come up with tricks to make sure I get my food in too during the day.  

I stepped on the scale probably 4 days postpartum and was down about 10 or 12 lbs.  As of 2 weeks and 3 days postpartum, I had 2 lbs left to lose.  I think I had a lot of swelling and water weight in the end.  My stomach has gone down considerably.  I can fit into all of my pants again (with a little muffin top that I'll need to tone once I'm cleared by my doctor).  But my thighs and calves were huge at the end.  I could barely get into my jeans that I had.  Now that I can easily slip everything on, I'm guessing it was a lot of swelling.

How is physical recovery going? I really think that God cut me some slack here since breast feeding has been so challenging :)  I had two tears in the front and back that needed to be stitched.  I used the numbing spray and tucks that the hospital provided religiously.  I also made sure to take ibuprofen and Tylenol 3 whenever I could.  I wanted to make sure to keep the pain away.  It was hard to get out of bed those first few days in the hospital, but things quickly got better.  There was only one day at home that I was worried I might have torn a stitch getting out of the car, but everything ended up being fine.  I know I was really lucky here to be able to move around and feel ok.

I really feel ready to workout.  My mom and I took Zoe and Wally for a walk when we had a nice day here and it felt so good.  Only a few more weeks though until my doctor's appointment where I'll hopefully get the go ahead.  Although, I'm not really sure when I'll fit in workout time :)  I'm hoping to be able to do a video here and there at home and maybe go to the YMCA once in a while Zoe and Aaron get daddy/daughter time.

What do you miss about being pregnant? I really don't miss anything about the end :)  I was getting really uncomfortable, feeling huge, and was so tired.  I do miss being in the late 20 weeks early 30 weeks when I was finally showing, feeling great, and could feel Little Miss moving around all the time.  But, having her on the outside is SO much better :) 

How is nursing going?  Much, much better than the beginning.  This is a whole other post though :)
 

Have you taken her out yet?  Yes, we have gone to the pediatrician a few times.  She also had jaundice so we had to have her blood drawn a few times to check her levels (worse experience ever...I can't handle hearing her scream.  I think I cried as much as her.).  Aaron and I took her to Panera and Once Upon a Child when she was about a week old so I could get out and keep my sanity.  We went for a walk with my mom one day when the weather was really nice.  We also took her out to dinner when my mom was here.  Hopefully it gets a little easier once she gets a little older.  Since she's eating about every 3 hours and taking 45 minutes per feeding right now, it's hard to find time to go anywhere major.  I do have bottles I can give her of pumped milk, but I want to make sure I properly establish my supply (which they say happens at about 6 weeks).  I know we'll eventually figure things out.  She's only 3.5 weeks old so everything is still so new.

How/where does she sleep?  Sleeping has been going great.  Again, maybe I'm getting a reprieve since breast feeding has had me in tears too many times to count.  At about 3.5 weeks, she's been getting up usually about once per night/early morning to eat.  Then up again between 5 and 8 depending on what time she ate last.  I'll go back to bed if it's early, or if it's 8 I'll get up and get a few things done (like shower) before she gets up for her next feeding.  She loves being swaddled so I take advantage of being able to put her down in the morning.  She sleeps on and off all day after eating as well.  She loves to be held though.  I know eventually I have to break this habit, but they say for now, she's too little to be spoiled so I'm going to soak up the snuggles for a little while longer :)

Aaron and I are sleeping in the guest room for now with her in the pack and play.  We have a small heater so the room doesn't get too cold (our house is freezing).  We also have a fan on low for "while noise" for her.  If she's having a hard time falling asleep, we turn on her white noise CD which plays various tracks of white noise, ocean sounds, etc.  I then take her into the nursery to nurse her and we go back in the guest room when we are done.

The private lactation consultant I used recommended sleeping with her until 6 months.  I don't think we'll stay in the same room quite that long.  She'll eventually go in her crib.

What are you looking forward to? Having a little more freedom to get things done around the house and run errands (aka getting Little Miss on a schedule).  Thanksgiving is this week and we are going home to see our families.  It will be nice to have people around for 4 days straight.  Being home all day gets a little lonely sometimes.  Don't get me wrong, I love her to pieces and I'm soaking up every minute of our time together.  This newborn, snugly stage is the best.  She's laying on my chest as I type just snoozing away :)  Daddy, however, can't wait for her to give kisses and hugs back :)

The Birth Story

I really had no idea what to expect when it came to delivery.  I knew of my friends' stories, I knew of the stories I saw on TV and movies, but you just never know what your story will be.

Saturday, October 27, we went out with friends to have dinner and watch the Tigers in the World Series.  I left the bar a little early and went home to watch the game from the comfort of our couch in my PJs (the bar is within walking distance).  I told Aaron to stay out and have fun knowing this would be one of our last child free evenings.  He came home around midnight and thankfully hadn't drank much at all considering what was to soon follow...

I woke up around 3:30 am with bad cramping.  This had happened a few nights before so I didn't get too excited.  Then I started waking up every 10-15 minutes with time able cramping.  That was when I got my hopes up just a little.  By the 4:00 hour, I was having contractions, not just cramping.  Aaron woke up around 5:30 or 6 am when I was doing my breathing.  He was much more calm than I thought he would be and rubbed my back when I needed him to.  I decided at 6:45 am that it was time to get up and get ready to go.  I showered and finished packing my bags and Aaron did the same.  By 7:45 am when we left the house, my contractions were about 3 minutes apart and extremely painful.

We arrived at the hospital and get checked into triage.  This part was the worst by far.  They monitor you to make sure you are far enough into labor to stay.  The machine wasn't accurately capturing my contractions, so to the nurse, they looked 6 minutes apart which they would send you home.  I knew they were closer than that since I was obviously in severe pain.  Finally, the machine starting tracking them at about 3-4 minutes apart.  They also check your dilation to make sure you are progressing.  Now, they did this at my past two doctor's appointments and while it was uncomfortable it was not bad at all.  Umm...what they were doing to me in triage was sheer torture and so painful.  They did their best to do it in between contracts, but it was still bad.  At this point, I was 4 cm dilated.

They finally admitted me and pain relief was in site.  I worked on my breathing and staying calm while waiting for the anesthesiologist.  When that doctor walked in the door, I could have kissed him.  I fell in love instantly (not really, but close...) :)  I thought the epidural would be painful but they numbed the area first and I could hardly feel anything they were doing.  I could still feel the first contraction but it was much more manageable.  Then I couldn't feel the second at all.  Such amazing relief.  I give serious props to women that do this naturally.  There is no way I ever could have.

At this point, I tried to get some sleep.  I talked to my aunt on the phone.  My parents also stopped by for a little while.  I had to gently kick them out since I knew I was getting close to needing to push.  The doctor came in to check my dilation and I was 8 cm just before my parents got there.  The doctor came back after they went to get lunch and I was at 10 cm and +4 station.  Definitely go time.

The pushing was by far the worst part.  I knew the only relief to the pressure would be to actually deliver the baby.  And I knew that could take hours.  My doctor assured me though that it would go much faster since I was at +4 (+5 is crowning).  And yes, it was painful.  I'll spare the details :)

After about an hour and half of pushing, baby Zoe made her debut at 2:40 pm (less than 12 hours of labor)!  The doctor let Aaron announce the gender.  We were so incredibly in love with her instantaneously.  Aaron and I both cried.  They put her on my chest immediately while Aaron cut the cord.  He went over to watch her get cleaned up while they put me back together.  I did not have to have an episiotomy but I did have a second degree tear and needed stitches in the front and back of my lady bits.

My parents came in once I was all cleaned up and Aaron's parents made it to the hospital right then as well.

It really was the most amazing experience and so worth all of it.  I would do it all again in a heartbeat to feel that instantaneous love.

And so begins the next chapter of our life...