Going Back to Work

We now have a whole new "normal" to figure out now that I'm back to work.  I felt like I was JUST getting the hang of being home all day.  I was finally in a really happy place.  Zoe was finally in a happy place (thank you end of colic!).  We had a good schedule going and the weather was finally turning warmer.

Enter the end of my six month leave.  Suddenly, I now have to get myself ready in the morning plus feed a tiny human.  How it takes me so long to get out the door, I have no idea.  I only have to give her a bottle, and Aaron takes care of the rest.  But some days her sheets are gross and I have to change them, or she pooped through her PJs and I have to soak them, or she is just so darn stinkin' cute I have no desire to leave her (which is pretty much every day) so I dawdle a little longer.

Her naps at day care are hit or miss.  One day she might nap 4 MINUTES (I still find it hilarious that they record this...at least I know they are serious about their license :) ) and then maybe another half hour nap.  But other days she'll nap for an hour and half plus a forty-five minute nap. 

And I can't stop worrying about her all day.  I stare at the clock just waiting for 4:45 to hit so I can shut down and get to my car as fast as my heals will take me and then curse at the traffic for taking me 45 minutes to get to my little goose.  She's the highlight of my day and I hate that during the week, I only get a good 1.5-2 hours at most with her before it's bedtime.  And lately, she naps on the way home and in her car seat until 6:30 which cuts down our time together even more.

Then enter all of my other tasks around the house that I cannot seem to fit in.  Like cleaning.  I went TWO whole weeks without cleaning my house.  So not like me.  But I just didn't have time (I scrubbed yesterday for the record).  And laundry, and grocery shopping, and miscellaneous errands, and doing yard work, and cooking a meal that's not a sandwich or salad. 

My mom promised that it's just this stage of life.  She had the same hurdles to get over when we were little.  And she said I just have to get in the mindset that my house may not be clean, uncluttered yes, clean no.  And other things may need to fall through the cracks.  But I won't be able to get back those baby giggles or tub splashes that I missed because I was so obsessed with the to-do list I never seem to be able to finish.

I know we'll figure this all out eventually.  And as much as I miss her during the day, I know Zoe loves school and she's meeting new friends and learning to adapt to new situations.  And I get a little me time with adult conversation.  

And I rarely have to change a poopy diaper (thank you Zoe for always taking care of business during the day ;) ).  At least there is a small upside!

Getting to spend time together OUTSIDE after work is the
highlight of my day.  LOVE those thigh rolls :)

First Mother's Day

Technically, I had a half celebration last year when my mom took me shopping for maternity clothes and my dad bought me a rose from church :)  But this was the first year with out little goose really here.

We spent the weekend at my parents since I had a training in GR and it was my sister-in-law's 30th birthday party.  For Mother's Day, we had brunch at my in-law's.  Zoe and daddy made me a perfect handmade card (Zoe even did a nice crayon drawing on the inside), a hand print keepsake, and got me a bead for my bracelet.  And Aaron even went grocery shopping for me when we got home...this was big!

Poor Zoe has definitely been working on building her immune system in the short few weeks she's been at day care.  She had a little stomach bug earlier this month and become and runny, snotty mess Mother's Day weekend.  Needless to say, I was up until 5am holding her upright Saturday that weekend night so that she could get some sleep and be able to breathe.  It's crazy how fast you forget the newborn days of sleep deprivation.  We've been living in a nice bubble with a baby who sleeps through the night for a LONG time now (I'm hoping I'm not jinxing myself...).

Mother's Day weekend was a good reminder that this really is hard work, but so worth it to see her smiles all day on Sunday. 

I hope everyone had a very, Happy Mother's Day.  Ours was perfect!

Zoe Louise | Six Months

Six months....a half a year!  I can't even wrap my head around how old you are getting so fast.  You are so big and doing so many new things.  I hardly even have to prop you up at all for these pictures. You are pretty much sitting on your own (although you still have spills so mommy and daddy make sure to be right by you).  And our last month together :(  

Stats:  26 inches long (50th percentile), head is 17.25 inches (90th percentile), and weight is 17 lb 2.5 oz. (68th percentile).  You're creeping up there on weight girlie!  But I'm good with it...your little thigh rolls are too cute for words :)  

Likes:  Eating.  White noise CD.  Bath time.  Your mobile.  Momma Sofie.  Mr. Hungry Caterpillar.  Daddy's crazy songs.  You also love your hands and feet.  Anything you can get your hands on basically - my hair, my glasses, sweatshirt strings, etc.  You are very, very grabby this month.  No jewelry for mommy right now.  Sleeping on your tummy...who knew I'd be saying that after the first few days we had when you learned how to roll!

Ok people, this looks like my bottle.  Why isn't anything coming out??

You LOVE when people jump at you.  Our little neighbor Liam started doing it this week and you thought it was hilarious.  I tried it out myself the other day, and sure enough you giggled forever.  Wally is also suddenly funny too.  You giggle every time he licks you.

Dislikes:  Being burped during/after your bottle.  Being overtired.  Getting ready for bed after your bath.  You love the bath itself.  But you'd think we were torturing you when getting you in your PJs.

Biggest Achievement This Month:  Rolling from back to belly.  And making it 13 hours in the car on vacation!!

All tuckered out on the way home from SC.

Biggest Challenge of the Month:  The 45 minute nap intruder is still in full force :(  Sleeping more at daycare.  Sleeping in a hotel (I guess this one doesn't really matter since we don't go on vacation all that often).

Secret Tricks:  I now put you to sleep on your belly and rub your back for a little bit and you usually fall right to sleep.  If only you were allowed to go to sleep right on your belly at daycare.  It might solve a lot of problems.

Sleep:  You still take your last bottle at 7:30pm and are down by 8pm at the latest.  You are then down for the night until about 7am.  You take 3 naps during the day when at home, but not so much at daycare.  Two long ones that are around 2 hours or a little more and then a short catnap from about 5-6pm.  

Temperament/Personality:  You now purse your lips like you are contemplating something very deep and profound.  I wish we could capture it on the camera because you look so cute doing it.  You still babble away mostly to your toys although sometimes I can get you to talk to us :)  

Eating:  Still at 5 feedings.  You're now taking about 6 oz for each of your bottles.  I now nurse you in the morning and before bed.  So far that's easiest so we'll keep doing it as long as it's working.

We got the ok today from Dr. Butry to introduce real food!  Yay!  She said we need to work on getting you to eat a breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I'm so excited to see your reactions to food that actually tastes good rather than the bland rice cereal.  And now, I think I might mix in something tasty with your rice cereal.

Mmm...sweet potatoes!  First real food.

Randoms: All 6 month clothes, but I'm having to pack some of those away.  The ones that still fit JUST fit you so we'll need to get those 9 month clothes washed soon.  You are in size 2 diapers during the day and size 3 at night since you were leaking through your smaller ones.  We moved up to size 3 at day care as well since you were blowing out so many diapers.

Milestones:  Rolling from back to tummy.  You are starting to be able to tripod and even sit on your own sometimes.  And you can hold yourself up standing for a very short amount of time if I prop you up next to your pouf on you nursery floor.  Even though you prefer to sleep on your tummy, you still hate tummy time when you are awake so you haven't had much opportunity to crawl.

Look at me mommy!  I can sit on my own :)

Outings:  Vacation to South Carolina!  That's a post of it's own :)  We also went to Greenfield Village with Matt and his two little girls.  It was such a nice day and so nice to catch up with Matt and get outside.  You had your first trip on a carousel and a train.  You were happy when mommy held you on the carousel but didn't really like riding the horsey on your own.

We also celebrated Great Grandpa Menke's 90th birthday!  So many people came out to celebrate his special day :)

Favorite Baby Gear:  The stroller was a lifesaver on vacation.  It was the ONLY place you'd nap.  You also love the exersaucer if you can't see me.  This helps me to get a few things done in another room.  Once you see me though, you cry and hold your arms out for me to pick you up.

Comparison shots!

Love you Goose!  Let's make sure to live up our night and weekends together now that mommy has to go back to work :)

Vacation

I have really never taken long road trips.  My family always flew - probably because my parents had no desire to deal with three kids in the car for long periods of time :)  Aaron is the opposite.  Growing up with 5 other brothers and sisters, flying was obviously super expensive and super tricky.  So they drove everywhere.

We stopped at a bar and all had a refreshing beverage on a hot day

Since I was still on maternity leave and Aaron has vacation saved, we thought it was the perfect opportunity to get away for a week.  Aaron came up with South Carolina, and after looking at the weather forecast, I was on board.  Airline tickets were ridiculous and since I'm currently not getting paid, we decided to drive.

Out on a walk

The drive down seemed to take forever.  Zoe had a rough time in her carseat (two diaper blowouts just on the way there) and just wanted to be out.  I don't blame her - how boring to stare at the back of the seat for hours on end.  But we were in that, "Woohoo, we're going on vacation, we're so excited!" mode.  Crying?  We could tune it out because we were SO.EXCITED.  We stopped halfway to give the girl a breather and spent the night in Tennessee.  

Driving the safari car at the aquarium after she finally woke up

The drive on the second day was gorgeous.  We both agreed we'd have to go back another time just to vacation in the Smokey Mountains.  And only 6-7 hours in the car?  Totally doable. 

Then finally....palm trees!  That's when I know I'm on vacation :)  And 80 degrees.  Since we left MI in the 40s, it was heaven.  

Walk on the pier

We walked around quite a bit (we had to enjoy the weather!), we drove to a plantation/garden, we went to the ocean, and to the aquarium.  Zoe LOVED the beach.  Absolutely loved it.  The water itself?  Not so much....she screamed when Aaron put her toes in.  And being the awesome parents we are, we decided we had to capture her reaction on film so we recreated it an hour later and caught it on video.  We are so mean...I can't wait for her to go camping this summer though in Traverse City.  She'll be old enough to sit on her own and I think she'll love playing in the sand. 

Loving the beach

Her naps and sleeping on vacation?  HORRIBLE.  She refused to nap in her pack n play.  We literally had to go on a walk for every single nap.  Which means they were short naps and probably not the best quality since she was being jostled around.  And she slept terrible at night (so not like her).  I never knew if she was hungry (growth spurt?) or just needed to cry a little before falling back to sleep.  But we were in a hotel and I didn't want to wake all of our neighbors up so most of the time I just caved and fed her.  Then her wake up calls were usually 6:30.  Then they creeped up to 5:30 and the final day?  5 am.  The only upside was that we got on the rode extremely early and were able to make it home in one day rather than two.  

Finally!

It was so much fun though to see her reactions to everything.  The sand was fascinating.  She slept for most of the aquarium but was completely enthralled by the fish tank once she woke up.  It's funny how the small things are so exciting to her which makes them that much more fun for us :)

Week One of Daycare

I guess I probably shouldn't count it as one week since she was really only there for three days.  But you get the drift...

As expected, I had butterflies in my stomach going to bed Tuesday night and woke up all jittery Wednesday morning.  I kept telling myself, "Just think how much you'll be able to get done today without any interruptions.  You'll be able to do so much without having to worry about bottles and naps."  It's funny.  Any other day I would kill for just a few hours of me time. But then when I have the time, all I can think about is the clock and when I get to pick her up.

Aaron and I dropped her off together.  He'll be doing the drop off normally, but I wanted to be there on her first day.  She was perfectly fine when we handed her off to Miss Mary.  I, however, didn't do so well.  Miss Linda and Miss Mary both have older children and told me over and over how hard it was every year to drop their kids off too.  They promised it would get better and reiterated that I could call or stop in as much as I would like.

I did my best to wait until noon to call.  At that point, little stinker hadn't napped yet which is so not like her and I had it in my brain that she would never nap, she'd get so overtired she'd be a nightmare at home, and on and on.  Have I mentioned I obsess over things? Yeah, it's a problem.  I picked her up at 3:30 pm and she had finally napped a little.  Two short catnaps, but I'll take it.  She had another catnap when we got home at her normal "catnap" time.  We had our parent group so she was up much later than usual, but she did pretty well considering how her day was completely off.

Thursday, still with the catnaps but she at least had a morning one. I had to pick her up again early for a doctor's appointment.  She snoozed away after we got home.

I know she'll figure out the napping thing.  And if she doesn't, oh well.  That's what I keep trying to remind myself.  There's nothing we can do at this point.  

All in all, I'm feeling much better.  The women are all so nice.  There are several babies so hopefully she'll make some friends that she'll follow through the program.  

Please Remember

To my little Goose,

Tomorrow is the big day - your first day of daycare.  I can't believe it's already here.  These past six months have just flown by.  They say time flies when you have kids and it is unfortunately oh so true.  It seems like just yesterday you were this itty bitty newborn, but instead you are such a big girl already who laughs and smiles and talks to her toys nonstop.

I've had a hard time these past few days processing exactly what this all means and how our days are going to change.  I know as time passes, you'll love going to school.  You'll make tons of new friends, you'll be excited to see all three of your teachers.  But I can't help being upset about how much I will miss.  So far, I was the first one who was able to see all of your firsts.  Your first smile, your first real, belly laugh.  And now it's going to be someone else.

I know you are much, too little to remember any of our time together over the past half of year.  But please know that these six months were the best ever.  You changed our lives in such a big way when you came into this world and I wouldn't give one second of it up for anything (even on your worst days ;) ).  

I'll always remember the look on daddy's face when he finally saw you.  I'll remember the sheer joy at watching you learn so many new things about this big world that is all so new to you.  The way that your giggles turn me to absolute mush...and how you laugh at the strangest things, but we'll go with it :)  The way that you have the biggest smiles when we come get you in the morning.  The way that you go for a bottle likes it's the last time you'll ever eat.  And the list goes on and on.

Tonight daddy is traveling for work and I got to put you to bed.  So, I rocked you a little longer and smelled that fresh bath smell.  Tears rolled down my cheeks as I told you how special these six months were and how much I'll miss you.  And I told you over and over again how much I love you.  Please baby girl, don't ever forget that.  Even though I can't be with you all day anymore, you are still my little Goose.

I love you Goose.

xoxo,

Mommy

Mommy Fail

Don't worry...this is not my first.  Since Zoe's 5 months old, I'm guessing it's normal to have those moments where you are like, "Crap, I can't believe I did that."  Like the time I was trying to let her sit in a tripod and she face planted into the floor and screamed bloody murder.  Yeah, I pretty much cried right along with her.  (Disclaimer, I was sitting right there with her with my hands on her but she wriggled out.)  

Newest, mommy fail was much more scary.  We've been talking about unswaddling Zoe for a while know.  By talking, I mean me bringing it up and us both quickly deciding that she sleeps so well, why mess with something that's not broken.  Recently, she's been busting out more frequently.  Sometimes one arm, sometimes both.  Sometimes she'd go back to sleep on her own, sometimes she wouldn't settle back down unless we snuck in and reswaddled her.  It was getting kind of annoying to deal with to be honest.  Plus, she was starting to try to roll from back to front which would just be so unsafe while swaddled.

Enter last night.  She had a really rough day.  SUPER cranky.  Let's just say I was counting down the hours until Aaron came home so I could get a breather.  She went down great at her normal bedtime (her naps were horrible).  Then she busted out of her swaddle around 11.  Aaron went in and fixed it and said she was on her side.  That should have been the red light.  She cried on and off for the next few hours and then got really upset at 1 am.  I decided she must be hungry so I went in to feed her.  And there she was on her stomach, one arm out, and not able to roll back :(  My heart completely jumped out of my chest.  I scooped her up and said sorry to her a million times.  I thanked God over and over again while I was feeding her that everything was ok and that nothing happened.  

No more beloved swaddle.

She woke up on and off the rest of the night.  She was in a completely different direction when I went to get her this morning so I'm not sure if she rolled or scooted, but she was all smiles.  

Her naps today have been terrible even if I go in to put her back on her back and shush her.  She knows how to roll from tummy to back.  She's been doing it for months and does it all the time during tummy time.  I'm not quite sure what the difference is now.  We'll see how tonight goes.

She's also seemed extra hungry these past two days.  So maybe the horrible naps are also attributed to a growth spurt.  I hate that this is all happening at once, because I'm unable to pinpoint exactly what the problem is.  Just when you think you've got it down....

We are supposed to go on a road trip next week before I go back to work, but now I'm not so sure that will be a good idea.  I know I wouldn't want to be a hotel room next to us.  I'm hoping she gets it all figured out before then.  We'll see.  As they say, this too shall pass...it's just a matter of when.

Easter

Zoe got to celebrate TWO weeks of Easter for her first.  

Beeba and Grandpa headed to Colorado to visit Aunt Jodi and Mark since Mark was confirmed at Easter mass.  So, Beeba and Grandpa decided to come over the weekend before to give Goose her Easter basket.  She loved the giraffe toy and really wasn't interested in much else :)  But everything was much needed and the clothes and sandals are going to be adorable this summer.  

Keeping with the giraffe theme (her
basket was a giraffe too)

This little chick was mine when I was little.
Beeba found it and cleaned it up for us.

Of course "King Tut" had to be in the picture too (...Brody the dog).

The dogs were a little upset Zoe got a basket and they didn't.

Grandpa time!

For the actual Easter weekend, Nana and Grandpa came to visit.  She was so cute in her Easter dress!  She loved the toys from Nana and Grandpa.  The cellophane on the outside of the her basket was the biggest hit :)

Aaron thought she looked like a tight rope
walker with her onesie and tights on.  So...he
found a rope and we posed her :)

Uncle Nate came over for lunch and to
watch the U of M game :)

Zoe Louise | Five Months

I hate that the first thing I think about when seeing this post is that I only have one month left at home with you.  This has been the most amazing few months and I am so fortunate that I work at a company that allows me to take this much time off.  I just think about everything we got to experience together and I wouldn't trade it for anything.  Let's make this last month count Goose.

Stats:  Not sure.  We'll know next month at her 6 month checkup.

Likes:  Swaddled to sleep.  Eating.  White noise CD.  Bath time.  Your mobile.  Momma Sofie.  Mr. Hungry Caterpillar.  Daddy's crazy songs.  You also love your hands and feet.  And EVERYTHING goes in your mouth these days.

Dislikes:  Being burped during/after your bottle.  Being overtired.  I've also started to try and ween you from your swaddle (one arm out during a few naps).  Sometimes it goes ok and sometimes your naps are horrible.  We'll keep working on it.

Biggest Achievement This Month:  Keeping up with your earlier bedtime and sleeping until 7:30 or 8 am!  Although, you are starting to get up earlier around 7.  We'll see if that stays consistent.

Biggest Challenge of the Month:  The 45 minute nap intruder is still in full force :(  Also, weening you from your swaddle.  Part of me wonders if we should just go cold turkey.  I don't think I could handle the cries though.

Secret Tricks:  You still are a busy body and get bored easily.

Sleep:  You still take your last bottle at 7:30pm and are down by 8pm at the latest.  You are then down for the night until anywhere from 7-8am.  You now take 3 naps during the day.  Two long ones that are around 2 hours or a little more and then a short catnap from about 5-6pm.  There have been a few days recently where you decided it was best to get up at 6:30 am.  While working, this time was normal for me, but I've definitely gotten used to staying up later and getting up later.  I need to work on that before going back to work.

Temperament/Personality:  You are hilarious.  You started babbling a lot more this week.  We visited your friends in Chicago this past week and I'm wondering if you finally learned a little more from Caroline.  We love hearing it though!  You don't really talk to us, but hearing you chat with your safari friends and mama Sofie makes our day.  

And the things that make you laugh.  I will never understand them, but daddy and I will gladly act like idiots to hear those laughs :)  Last weekend, daddy kept saying "Ok mommy" a million times and I kept thinking he was actually talking to me.  Nope.  You found it hilarious and giggled FOREVER.

Eating:  Still at 5 feedings.  You're now taking about 5.5 oz for each of your bottles.  I still nurse twice in the mornings.  I pump once at night before bed.  I'm dropping the afternoon pumping this week.  I've been conflicted on doing it, but it's just getting to hard to fit it in while you are up and wanting my attention.  I need to start weening anyhow before going back to work so I guess this is as good of time as any.  You still only get one formula bottle.  I don't know if we'll make it quite to 6 months, but it will be close.  I think stopping all the way is going to be harder for me than I thought :(

You are getting much better at eating your rice cereal.  Some of it is FINALLY making it to your belly.  And you actually like to "help" me put it in your mouth which generally means it ends up all over your face :)  But it's super cute.

Randoms: All 6 month clothes.  We did keep the 9 month Easter outfit for you since I want you to wear it more than once.  You are in size 2 diapers.  

Milestones:  You still are trying SO hard to roll from back to tummy but no luck yet.  Talking is definitely the biggie this month.  You are starting to get better at tripoding too.  If I sit behind you to catch you, you do pretty well.

Outings:  Chicago!!  This was big for mommy.  We made it all by ourselves without too many meltdowns :)  A big thank you to the Hansons for letting us visit for a few days.

Favorite Baby Gear:  I am so glad we registered for the City Mini GT stroller.  And I'm so glad you can go in it now.  Even Beeba commented on how nice of a ride it was when we took you for a walk last weekend.  I'm excited for warmer weather so we can go out with it more often.

Comparison shots!  It's so crazy to look back at these.  Obviously, I know you are so much bigger compared to one month.  But even just from 4 months!

Love you Goose!  I can't wait to spend this last month off work with you :)

Chicago!

I've been extremely stir crazy.  This whole "let's pretend like it's spring and then snow, and more snow, and more snow" is just annoying.  I'm done with winter.  Thankfully, we have warmer temps coming our way - or at least high forties/low fifties.  At this point, I'll take it.

Since Zoe and I are home all day by ourselves, I decided to see if Kate would mind a visit from us!  So, Zoe and I packed up and made a mid week getaway to Chicago.  We left Tuesday and came back Friday.  I was a little nervous about the car ride since I'd be by myself, but she did great.  There were some bouts of crying, but she eventually fell back asleep.  We made one stop both times to eat and that was it.  

The Hanson girls are so cute, and Zoe was just enthralled by all the action.  Thanks again Geoff and Kate for letting us crash your house for a few days!! :)  We had so much fun!

Annie showing funny faces to Zoe in the mirror.

I guess Zoe didn't want to smile :)

She soon spit up (or drooled as Lauren called it) :)

All of the kids were fascinated by this ball toy.