My Husband...The ALMOST Architect!

If you asked people what my husband does, they'd say he's an architect (truthfully, I do the same thing-it's just easier).  Yes, that's what he went to school for and got his master's in.  However, you can't actually call yourself an "architect" until you are licensed.  That involves passing 7 exams, having a certain amount of experience in different areas, and then applying to the state.  Aaron has had the experience portion completed for quite a while.  1 year and 8 months ago, he started taking the exams. 

I'm proud to say that he got the results letter for his final test last night and...HE PASSED!!!  And just to brag a little more, he passed each exam on the first try which is a great accomplishment.  I am so excited for him!  He studied his butt off :)

So today he's sending his application into the state, and hopefully he'll hear back within the next few months!

We celebrated last night with dinner at Kruese and Muer.  Delicious!

Congratulations again Aaron!  I am so proud of you!!! :)

Taken during his Master's year..a little catnap before going back to studio (sorry for the poor quality).

He's More Than I Could Ask For

Throughout all of this heartache, there has been one positive.  I know I've said it, but I wanted to make it it's own post.  My husband is amazing. 

We met in high school.  We had homeroom together (not that that really means much considering I think we had homeroom all of maybe 5 times).  We hung out in the same group of friends freshman year, and then went our separate ways shortly thereafter.  I was a math girl and he doesn't love it so much so we didn't have any classes together.  Graduation came and went, freshman and sophomore years of college came and went. 

Then at the beginning of junior year, one of his good friends was turning 21 and went to CMU.  My girlfriends were all going to the party so I decided to tag along.  I had no idea that going to that one party would change my life forever.  Aaron was there, and I hadn't seen him since high school (and even then only in passing).  We were both a little more chatty than usual (the drinks didn't hurt) and hung around each other all night.  I'm not one to just give out my number...I sucked at the whole "dating" scene...he never asked for it so life went on.  Fast forward a month or so later.  Aaron was back at CMU from UofD.  Little did I know that he did that on purpose to see me again.  He's not very obvious and straightforward either...it's really a miracle it all actually worked out :) 

Fast forward again to November.  Our phone rings and my BFF picks up, she comes to tell me it's for me with a smirk on her face.  Who is it?  Yep, he FINALLY called.  I never gave him my number, I couldn't even tell he was interested.  He got my number from another friend (sneaky).  So he asked me out on a date.  Mind you Aaron went to UofD which was 2.5 hours from CMU so it was a little difficult to just go out on a first date with someone.  But we scheduled it for November 21.  Of course, the second I got off the phone, I ran to my BFFs room and told her.  She looked right at me and said, "I bet you a hundred dollars you get married."  Now, I'm a hopeless romantic, I love all things cheesy, but this one I wasn't buying.  I should have listened.

November 21 came and the doorbell rang.  Instead of flowers he brought me a card and burned CD.  I thought it was incredibly thoughtful (the more I got to know him, I realized just how thoughtful it was...it was totally him).  Even though he wasn't from the area, he did his homework.  He had the whole date planned.  We went to dinner at Ruby Tuesdays, bowling (which I won), then to a party.  He planned to stay at a friends but the party had a lot of people so he ended up crashing on our couch (yes, he really slept on the couch).

I'm pretty sure we saw each other almost every weekend from that point on.  The long distance thing was hard, but we made it work ("Make it work people!" - Aaron's favorite quote from Project Runway...Tim Gun).  Graduation came and I moved to Detroit for work and to live with my BFF.  Thankfully, Aaron was still in school in his Master's year so while he was in studio ALL.OF.THE.TIME, it was better then being 2.5 hours away. 

The engagement conversations (all me) happened more and more often.  And FINALLY in Glenn Arbor on the beach, he popped the question.  It was absolutely perfect.  Up north Michigan is my favorite place and holds so many great memories for me.  He knew just what would make me the happiest :)  The wedding came and went way too fast (I had a serious breakdown the next day that it was all over...seriously, you plan for a year and then it's just done).

Our first year of marriage wasn't perfect.  We were dealing with living together for the first time, buying a house, getting a dog.  I had my moments and thankfully Aaron could deal with crazy me :)  And year two and three got better...we were getting to be old pros by then.  Year four has definitely come with it's challenges, but they've only brought us closer together.

I'm so thankful that I went on that date all those years ago.  I don't think I could have met a more patient person.  I can sometimes be high maintenance, I sometimes have serious anxiety issues, I probably have borderline OCD, and the list goes on...Yet he loves me anyway.  He listens to every complaint I have.  He puts up with how crazy and weird I can be.  He makes me laugh.  The way he is with Wally makes my heart melt every day.  I am so lucky to have him in my life.  I remember when we were going through our marriage classes through church, the priest asked us a question about getting married (I can't even remember the question).  But Aaron's answer was so simple, yet meant so much, "I just want to make her happy."  And that he has.

I love you Aaron.



2006



Weekend Recap

Is it really Monday already?  We had such a good weekend!  Friday, we went to the gym after work.  I definitely prefer going with someone.  I'm much more motivated to and stay longer :)  After, we had Chipotle for dinner.  Some of you may know, my husband is OBSESSED.  He would probably eat it for every meal if he could :)  It's always his "go to" if I'm ever out of town or if we aren't eating together for whatever reason (fyi, mine would be Jimmy Johns).  I was in bed by 10pm...although I saved face by reading until 11pm!

Saturday we ran errands.  Aaron spent hours at the mall trying on pants and shoes...I left with nothing.  Something is wrong with that picture.  Although I made up for it at Old Navy :)  Aaron met up with an old co-worker while I went to church.  Then we walked up to Emory for dinner and drinks.  We were debating going out with friends and decided we'd head out for a little while at least.  I made myself presentable, and we went downtown.  I'm glad we went!  It was fun and everyone was ready to go by 12:30am so it wasn't too late of a night.  Last week, the girls planned a "Super Lauta" party which is a combination of a Super Bowl party and my birthday celebration.  Yes, they call me Lauta.  Amy likes to think it's Spanish in origin while Michelle prefers Swedish.  It all goes back to a time Michelle had some "difficulty" putting my number in her phone and finally (after several attempts) found it under Lauta.  And now it's stuck :)  Anyways, we also planned out some food for Sunday and are possibly doing t-shirts on Wednesday after class/work.  So it's a good thing we met up!  I'm very excited :)

This week should be a good one!  Today we have a goodbye lunch for a co-worker, Wednesday is our consultation with the RE (finally!), Thursday is my b-day and we are headed to my favorite restaurant Mitchel's, and Sunday is the party.  We are headed to Rockford to celebrate my b-day with the family the following weekend.  I'm excited to go home and feel good.  The last few times I was sick for one reason or another (the shots then the surgery).

And now I leave you with a picture of Wally staring outside longingly at the snow :)  Don't worry, he did get to go out and play multiple times.  I'm not that mean! :)

How it went...

We arrived just on time (traffic was worse than we thought).  I scanned the group all while trying not to be obvious about it.  There were several couples our age, and a good number who were late 30s to mid 40s.  I kept thinking how sad it was that we were all sitting there for such a sad reason.

The presentation started and it became very obvious that a few women were there as their last hope.  Based on their questions and knowledge, they were unfortunately far too informed.  I don't say that because it's bad to be informed...only that I'm sure these women never wanted to know so much.  They wanted a happy, healthy baby long ago.

We learned a lot.  There were parts of the presentation that were helpful.  There were parts that were scary too.  What if even though I got pregnant on 50 mg of clomid, it's not going to be so easy from here on out and we end up knowing what ICSI, DDsomething or other and all these other acronyms actually mean?  I know that I'm fortunate and I know that we still have a long way to go before any of that would be necessary, but I still was a little nervous.

After the meeting, we stopped on our way home to get dinner quickly.  Poor Aaron looked at me so worried, and said, "At our appointment on Wednesday, are we already jumping into IVF?"  Throughout the past few years, I've known people who have had problems so I know the typical treatment sequence.  So going into the meeting, I knew that meds and monitoring come first, IUI, trigger shots, all of these other smaller things come first before IVF.  Not that they all aren't emotional procedures or a big deal, I guess they just come with a lower price.  I explained to Aaron and you could just see the relief.  We talked about what insurance might cover and what they probably won't cover.  We talked about the fact that I've put quite a lot into my HSA over the past year for this exact reason, etc.  All things I guess I just never mentioned since I'm the one that does most of the finances and I didn't think he cared to know.  He knows I'm anal so he knows it must all be doable.  I realized I should probably keep him more included even in that aspect of this whole thing.  While he doesn't need to do anything, he'd still like to be kept in the loop.

And now I can't wait for Wednesday.  The staff that were there last night were amazing.  So, so nice.  The exact type of people you would expect to be working with highly emotional women.  The doctors were kind yet funny.  I really think that we are making the right choice.  And that's what counts.

While I wait for Wednesday, I'm so happy that it's Friday.  We have no plans this weekend (other than the usual groceries, cleaning, laundry, etc.).  Sitting and doing nothing sounds just about perfect right now :)  Happy Friday!

Informational Night

Tonight is the Informational Night.  All week I've felt like I did when I was little and I knew a big vacation was coming up.  Two nights ago I had the most bizarre dream about our consultation (that's next week)...not sure where that came from.  And last night I could not fall asleep (which was horrible considering I stayed out way too late with girlfriends and didn't go to bed until almost midnight...on a work night...man I sound old).

I've been waiting for tonight for the past month.  Tonight means we are finally moving forward.  I feel like the voucher for our free consultation is going to be like the Golden Ticket from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.  Yeah, I'm a dork.

I have mixed emotions going into tonight.  Don't get me wrong, my excitement and anxiousness (in a good way) are far outweighing the negativity.  But have I gotten my hopes?  Will we leave the meeting tonight feeling even more overwhelmed and discouraged?  I know that I have a long ways to go before IVF would even be considered, so will they talk about all levels of infertility? 

I had lunch this week with a friend who recommended me to this office.  She LOVES them.  And she did warn me that some of the statistics are discouraging, but that the staff is amazing and the informational night is a great way to get just that...information.

So yeah, tonight we're getting what will hopefully be our "Golden Ticket."  If only it came with all the delicious candy from the movie...



Photo courtesy of oranges-world.com





Weekend Recap

It's hard to believe the weekend is over already!  They always seem to go by way too fast.  We had so much fun though.

Friday we went to Rosie's in Ferndale, and then watched Hangover 2.  While some parts were a little over the top, it was pretty funny :)

Saturday was a day full of cleaning and errands.  We went to a friend's house for a wine tasting party at night, so I spent the afternoon getting some food ready.  We had so much fun!  And bought way too much wine :)  The guy was a little pushy for our taste, but I guess this is how he makes his living.

I made caprese salad bites and these little chocolate covered grapes. SO good!  Both were a huge hit.  I was hoping for some leftover grapes, but unfortunately, they were all gone.  Oh well, I guess that means everyone loved them :)  Here's the recipe, SUPER easy.

Chocolate Covered Grapes

-Red or green grapes (seedless)

-1 cup white chocolate chips

-1 tablespoon crisco

-Chopped peanuts

Melt chocolate and crisco on the stove (make sure to use the double pan with boiling water in one, and then the chocolate and crisco in the other so as not to burn the chocolate).  Dip grapes in chocolate and then in the peanuts.  Place on wax paper to cool.  Refrigerate once chocolate is set.

Caprese Salad Bites

-2 pints cherry/grape tomatoes

-Fresh mozzarella

-Fresh basil

-salt and pepper

-Olive oil

-Balsamic vinegar

On each toothpick, place one tomato, a piece of basil, and a piece of mozzarella.  Once in the dish you'll be using, sprinkle with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and salt and pepper.

And the aftermath...The tasting started at 4pm.  We decided to go to a local bar after.  We called it a night at about 11:30pm.  Us old folks just can't handle drinking early and staying out late anymore. 

Waldo's World

At some point, my dad started calling our dog Wally, Waldo.  I can't remember when, but it's definitely stuck.  While Aaron and I use several other nicknames, this is the only one my dad uses.  I don't think they were too fond of each other at first (Wally is about 5 times the size of their dog), but my dad has really grown to love Wally, I can tell :)  Thankfully, dad usually takes him for REALLY long walks whenever we visit so we get a little break.  

I was sitting around today thinking that Wally, yet again, got into something.  Our parents think that his antics are hilarious.  In the moment, I'm really, really mad (that might be an understatement if you asked my mom or Aaron), but when looking back on everything he's done, it's pretty funny.  So in order to capture all those moments, I'm instituting "Waldo's World."  These posts may be frequent or sporadic...it all depends on how much he gets into :)  For my sanity, let's hope it's not a daily segment!  Since this is first post, I'll go back and recount everything I can remember thus far...(mind you he's 3 and this all started in the past year)...

1. We bought a new container for our recycling and had put it on the floor next to the trash can.  The container had a lid, so we thought we were safe.  I came home to paper, plastic, everything shredded all over the living room.  Wally had figured out how to nose the lid open, and bring everything all over the house.  Solution - The recycling container only lasted one day...

2. We have a small trash can in the bathroom.  I was smart enough to get one with a lid that has the little step piece on the bottom.  You have to step on the piece at the bottom in order to get the lid to open.  Yeah, our dog figured it out.  I came home from work to the contents of the trash can...EVERYWHERE.  The main trash is one thing, but the bathroom trash...definitely not something I prefer to have to pick up after it's in the trash.  Solution - close the bathroom door when we aren't home.

3. I was sick one day from work.  I asked Aaron to pick up some sprite on the way home.  It was on sale so he bought me a twelve pack.  I had one can that night and figured I would put the box downstairs the next day.  Wally had a different idea.  I came home from work to find all eleven remaining cans scattered around the living room.  I counted 10 and couldn't find the last one.  Yeah, Wally had "teen wolfed" the eleventh can.  Thankfully, it's clear so it didn't stain the carpet.  Although, I'm sure he drank the whole thing.

4. We have a long pantry in our kitchen.  We close it every day because Wally would get into the empty cans and rattle them around.  Aaron took out a granola bar before work and accidentally forgot to latch it all the way.  I came home to find the contents of the bottom shelf strewn around the living room.  He also proceeded to open the jar of peanut butter (not sure how he accomplished that) and eat as much of it that his snout could reach.  And yes, it was a large jar, and yes, it was essentially brand new.  His water dish was all the way across the kitchen when I got home which tells me he'd been searching for water all day.  He drank about 8 bowls before our walk.  Then threw it all up on the kitchen floor when we got home.  He laid around all night.  I still don't think he's learned his lesson...he'd eat all the peanut butter in the world if we let him.

5.  His most recent stunt involves some ointment that I had.  My travel bag WAS always kept under the guest bed and my bathroom bag stayed in there.  Well, one day Wally got under the bed, pulled out my bag, and chewed the tube of ointment along with eating some of the medicine.  He decided to do that on the bed which proceeded to stain the duvet cover (thankfully it was from IKEA and not that expensive).  Then he brought it into the living room and stained a small piece of our rug.  Aaron was concerned that he was poisoned.  I was just pissed at how much he'd ruined.  So I was in charge of calling poison control (the vest suggested that since it was human medicine).  The lady was very nice and said he should be fine but told us what to watch for.

6.  Today I came home and wanted a cookie.  Aaron took yesterday off so I thought maybe he threw them away.  I called and he said that he hadn't.  I looked all around.  And where were they?  Under the couch.  Wally had been trying to get into the container and pushed it under the couch...thankfully before he was able to open the container.

Needless to say, Wally is back in his crate during the day!  Maybe we'll try leaving him out again when he's a little older.  Apparently, he's going through a phase where he needs to act out all of the time.  At least he's getting us ready for kids! :)

I had some really great pictures of everything on my phone.  Unfortunately, I lost all of those pictures.  I'll have to remember to take more from now on.  Let's hope it's not that often!

And the wait is finally over!

Who knew I'd be so excited to have my levels finally drop to zero.  January 5 they were at 47, January 12 they were at 9, and January 19 they are at 0.  I am so happy that I am finally out of the woods for now.  All restrictions have been lifted, I need to start taking my vitamins again, and I am in the middle of cycle one of two before we can start trying again.  Next Thursday, we have the informational night at the RE clinic.  Then the following Wednesday (February 1) we have our consultation. 

I'm finally feeling at peace and like things are finally going back to normal.

I plan to workout tonight (I've gone a few times since surgery but kept it low key), tomorrow we have a wine tasting event with friends, and Sunday I plan to relax and read all day.  Should be a great weekend :)

Still waiting...

This was a hard weekend.  I don't even know why.  But it felt like I saw so many babies, I dreamt about so many people having babies, and watched too much TV with babies. 

I had a follow up with the surgeon on Friday.  My beta was at 47 on Thursday, so my doctor is very hopeful it will be at 0 by this week's draw.  The surgeon was incredibly nice and was actually one of the people I remember most from that morning.  She helped me take off all my jewelry, held my hand during the multiple attempts at getting an IV, called Aaron when I couldn't get a hold of him, and found him for me before I went in to surgery.  Quite honestly, I had thought she was a nurse that morning just because of how caring and worried about me she seemed (not that doctors don't care...I just feel like the nurses are the ones who are more focused on the mental status of the patient, if that makes sense).

The doctor said that yes, I did have a ruptured ectopic.  There was no doubt.  I had over a liter of blood in my stomach that they removed.  They removed the tissue in my tube, and sewed it back up.  Apparently, the blood was coming out of my tube and into my stomach.  She said that my tube was saved (which they had already told Aaron).  But she was honest and reminded me that I'm at a higher risk for another ectopic now that I've had one.  She also didn't think I was at the point of needing to go to an RE, but said (like my OB) RA of MI is an excellent place and I'll be well taken care of. 

I keep second guessing my decision for going for a second opinion.  All of my friends and family think it's a great idea.  All of the doctors don't think it's necessary...YET.  By the time, we'll be able to start trying again, we'll have been trying for 10 months.  Which I know isn't at the majic one year mark, but again, I have a history.  One that I don't want to repeat.

I think sitting in the waiting room was the beginnings of my rough weekend.  It is a low cost clinic within the hospital.  There were so many girls there who clearly were too young to be having babies.  And so my pitty party started. 

I just keep thinking of all the milestones I keep passing...Christmas - when we were supposed to tell our family the good news, my birthday - where I had hoped to have a baby before I was 30 and now I just hope to be pregnant by the time I'm 30, etc. etc.

I know that there are so many people that have it so much worse than me.  I know that I still have hope where others may not.  But it doesn't make it hurt any less.  I've been praying about everything a lot to try and help me sort through the emotions.  The "why me" and then the flip side of the guilt for feeling that way.  I just really want to be able to enjoy life as it comes and not have it go by so fast living in these one month increments waiting to see if this was the month.  I'm really really going to try and just slow down.

Doctor Update

Well, I went to the doctor last Thursday.  She drew blood and that was about it.  Good news is that my beta was down to 300ish as of last week.  I have another draw this Thursday, and hopefully it's at zero by then.  The doctor didn't really have much to say.  She said I was healing well.  She didn't know much about the surgery since she didn't perform it. I asked a few questions...Is there anything in the future that we can do to monitor me in case this happens again?  I'm at higher risk now for another ectopic pregnancy and I really wanted her to say that she would run a few tests to see I have any blockages or scar tissue on my tubes.  Her answer: you are at higher risk so we'll watch your blood levels after you get a positive pregnancy test to verify if it's ectopic or not.  Well, I get that a doctor can't prevent an ectopic pregnancy.  They can't decide where the baby is going to implant itself.  But I know there are things that can be done just to see how things look right now.  No response.  Gotta love paying $100 for a visit that you essentially get nothing out of.

I mentioned that Aaron and I were going to an informational night at a fertility clinic.  I also set up a free consultation with one of the doctors.  My OB just kept saying that she didn't think we were there yet.  She thought it was great we were getting more information, but she didn't think that seeing a specialist was necessary just yet.  I've said this before, but I'm not expecting a whole slew of crazy tests yet.  I'm not expecting the specialist to give me tons of drugs and IUIs and all of the other tricks they have in their bag.  I just want to hear what a specialist thinks about my situation.  I want to know what her thoughts are on our next step.  And maybe she'll have the same opinion as my current OB.  At least I'll have peace of mind that I have a second opinion.  Which can't hurt at all.

The fertility clinic night is at the end of January and our appointment is the following week on February 1.  Since I now have to wait two cycles before we start trying again, those dates should be perfect timing.  The woman I talked with on the phone was so, so nice.  She didn't rush me at all and told me to call back if I had any questions before the end of January.  

I've been poking around to see if I can fine an inexpensive getaway for Aaron and I to just decompress after the craziness that November and December brought.  Work is suddenly crazy and looks like it will continue for at least a few weeks.  I have a feeling these two months will fly by. In the meantime, I'm focusing on me and spending time with Aaron, Wally, friends, and family.

Happy New Year!

And now, a happy post (I'll update the health piece at the end-I want this to be mostly a happy post.

I was feeling much better and felt able to ring in the New Year!  I had been slowly testing how I felt earlier in the week.  That Wednesday, I made a trip to Meijer.  I was a little tired the rest of the day but at least I made it out.  Thursday before my doctor's appointment, I met my friend Andrea for lunch.  Friday, Andrea and I met up again to see The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (really good movie).  By Friday, I was really feeling ok.  Still a little sore, but nothing like earlier in the week.

And so the New Year's planning begins!  We decided to host our friends for pre drinks and food, then we were going to head to The Bosco for drinks and dancing.  I was debating all week if I was really feeling up to having people and going out.  I am so glad we decided to continue with our plans.  I had so much fun!  It was so nice to relax, be with friends, and just get to let loose and forget about everything for one night.  It seemed like everyone else enjoyed themselves as well.  Here are a few pictures that capture bits and pieces of the night :)

We had a fashion shoot before heading to the bar. The girls, then each couple, and of course we can't leave out Wally :)

Next, came the pictures from the bar and after.  I picked some of the more "tame" shots.

2011 definitely had it's ups and downs.  For the most part, it really was a great year.  Here's to 2012 being even better! :)